The 20 Funniest Quotes From “Friends” PART 2

1.

Phoebe: I remember the day I got my first paycheck, there was a cave-in in one of the mines.
Chandler: Phoebe, you worked in a mine?
Phoebe: No I worked in a Dairy Queen.

2.

Ross: You could not be any more wrong. You could try, but you would not be successful.

3.

Joey: You’ve been BAMBOOZLED!

4.

Joey: Man this is weird. You ever realize Captain Crunch’s eyebrows are actually on his hat?
Chandler: You think that’s what’s weird? Joey, the man’s been captain of a cereal for the last 40 years.

5.

Joey: Paper…snow…..a ghost!!!

6.

Ross: Chandler entered a Vanilla Ice look-alike contest and WON!
Chandler: Ross came fourth and CRIED!

7.

Chandler: Condoms?
Joey: We don’t know how long we’re gonna be stuck here. We might have to repopulate the world.
Chandler: And condoms are the way to do that?

8.

Rachel: Chandler wrote something about me on that paper and I want to see it!
Ross: Chandler isn’t that the short story you were writing?
Rachel: Short story? And I’m in it? I want to read it!
Ross, Joey, Chandler: NO!
Joey: Why don’t you read it to her?
Chandler: It was summer… and it was hot. Rachel was there… A lonely grey couch…”OH LOOK!” cried Ned, and then the kingdom was his forever. The End.

9.

Ross: So, uh, what did the insurance company say?
Chandler: Oh, they said uh, “You don’t have insurance here so stop calling us.”

10.

Joey: Why do you have to break up with her? Be a man. Just stop calling.

11.

Rachel: So basically you get your ya-yas from taking money from all of your friends?
Ross: Yeah.
Chandler: Yes, and I get my ya-yas from Ikea. You have to put them together yourself, but they cost a little less, so…

12.

Monica: My motto is get out before they go down.
Joey: That is so not my motto.

13.

Rachel: Oh, are you setting Ross up with someone? Does she have a wedding dress?

14.

Rachel: Hey, Mon, look, I’m melting butter.
Monica: That’s great, Rach. You now have the cooking skills of a hot day.

15.

Pheobe: Je m’appelle Claude
Joey: Jet aplee blooo

16.

Chandler: I’m not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

17.

Joey: I swear to god, Dad. That’s not how they measure pants!

18.

Phoebe: Hey, you know what I just realized? ‘Joker’ is ‘poker’ with a ‘J’. Coincidence?
Chandler: Hey, that’s ‘joincidence’ with a ‘C’.

19.

Joey: Just because she went to Yale drama, she thinks she’s like the greatest actress since, since, sliced bread!
Chandler: Ah, Sliced Bread, a wonderful Lady MacBeth.

20.

Joey: Suppose we’re a divorced couple.
Chandler: Okay.
Joey: And I got custody of the kid, right? Now, suppose the kid dies and I gotta buy a new kid.

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