The 20 Funniest Quotes From “Friends”

Ranked in order of hilarity. For bragging rights, try to place all 20 in the appropriate episode/context.

1.

Monica: Welcome to the real world. It sucks. You’re gonna love it!

2.

Janice: Oh… my… God!

3.

Rachel: How long do cats live? Like assuming you don’t throw ‘em under a bus or something?

4.

Ross: You know how you come home at the end of the day and throw your jacket on a chair?
Joey: Yeah.
Ross: Well, instead of a jacket, it’s a pile of garbage. And instead of a chair, it’s a pile of garbage. And instead of the end of the day, it’s the end of time and garbage is all that has survived.

5.

Rachel: Guys, guess what?!
Chandler: Ok, the fifth dentist caved and now they’re ALL recommending Trident?

6.

Chandler: WHOOOPAH!

7.

Joey: Sure I peed on her. And if I had to, I’d pee on any one of you!

8.

Phoebe: He must decide. He must decide. Even though I made him up, he must decide!

9.

Joey: Here come the meat sweats…

10.

Ross: Wow, you guys sure have a lot of books about being a lesbian.
Susan: Well, you know, you have to take a course. Otherwise they don’t let you do it.

11.

Chandler: All right, kids, I gotta get to work. If I don’t input those numbers… it doesn’t make much of a difference.

12.

Joey: Well, I’m sorry if I’m not a middle-aged black woman. And I’m also sorry if sometimes I go to the wrong audition.

13.

Joey: Hey, Ross, I got a science question: If the homo sapiens were, in fact, HOMO sapiens…is that why they’re extinct?”
Ross: Joey, homo sapiens are PEOPLE.
Joey: Hey, I’m not judgin’!

14.

Phoebe: Come on Ross, you’re a paleontologist, dig a little deeper.

15.

Janice: 15 Yemen Road, Yemen.

16.

Joanna: Wait, what are you doing?
Chandler: Getting dressed.
Joanna: Why?
Chandler: Well, when I walk outside naked, people throw garbage at me.

17.

Phoebe: THIS IS BRAND NEW INFORMATION!

18.

Phoebe: Yeah, I definitely don’t like the name Ross
Ross: What a weird way to kick me when I’m down.

19.

Joey: It’s a moo point. It’s like a cow’s opinion; it doesn’t matter. It’s moo.

20.

Joey: Uh, uh, we’ll flip for it, ducks or clowns.
Candler: Oh, we’re gonna flip for the baby?
Joey: You got a better idea?
Chandler: All right, call it in the air.
Joey: Heads.
Chandler: Heads it is.
Joey: Yess! Whoo!
Chandler: We have to assign heads to something!
Joey: Right, okay, okay, uhhh, ducks is heads, because ducks…have heads.
Chandler: What kinda’ scary-ass clowns came to your birthday!?

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Special Thanks to thoughtcatalog.com